The President Lost His Pants

The Irishman was known for humour, gift of gab, fast short hand, politics, and Esperanto. He was the head of the Hansard Publishing and Recording in the Canadian Parliament. He lost his pants before his scheduled presidential speech. He didn’t have another pair. His butt was bare except for boxers: no way for the President of The Canadian Esperanto Association to address the convention. His head throbbed from too much booze at the greet and meet evening. Drunk at bedtime, he thought his mattress had a broken spring so had propped it up by stuffing his only pair of pants under the mattress. Now he had forgotten where? His searching produced stress not trousers. He called my room phone. It was Lorcan Ohuiginn,  “Come to my room immediately, bring a pair of your pants. I have lost mine.  Bring a cup of strong coffee. This is urgent.” Unaware of circumstances, it was the president calling  and I complied. I am six foot two and heavy, he was five foot five and like a leprechaun. He gave his excellent, fervent talk on time delivered in his oversize, clown like pants. When they started to slip down, brilliant with jokes, he strutted from lectern like a Mr Bean to give a comical extra to his flawless speach about the merits of Esperanto. He expounded on the benefits of fasting on a breatharian diet and showed how much weight he had lost by pushing ‘The Plena Ilustrita Vortaro’, a thick dictionary between belly and trousers.